1. |
6 O'Clock News
03:45
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And I thought I saw you walking the dog
An act of desperation, cattle-hound mirage
Like I thought it was
I was younger then, I feel myself aging
Replaying those old video games from before I turned thirteen
Before my dad had lost his job and I saw what's out there waiting for me
No amount of school could prep me
For people to be so unexpecting
No amount of militant training can save me - I don't have eyes in the back of my head
And I thought I saw in the reflection
Exchanging glances with an alien, who is this man?
I was younger then, I'm still young
(What does it mean to be young?)
No amount of school could prep me
For people to be so unexpecting
No amount of militant training can save me - I don't have eyes in the back of my head
And I don't to know everything there is to know
(There's no skill set y'all have learned yet to make anyone feel safe)
But what I need to know is will we all grow old?
(People trying to stop dying, how else could anyone say stop)
Help, stop, help
And have you seen the news? The Web M.D. of TV
(There's no skill set y'all have learned yet to make anyone feel safe)
And I can't shake the blues that we'll all be dying
(People trying to stop dying, how else could we say stop)
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2. |
Mountains
03:29
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Another word, a phrase, a smell and I'm back in my head
Digging fingernails
Jittered as fuck and you say I look pale
I don't wanna leave
Don't wanna go
You can't make me go anywhere else but home
What's it to you if I don't go?
I'd rather chill and watch the shadows grow
One at a time
Song after song, this is the one
I say is my best song that I've ever written
(Ok ok so this is definitely the best song I've ever written, right, right?! WRONG!)
Tear them apart, all my art is garbage
(FUCK!)
I don't wanna sing
Close that door
But here's the thing: I can't stop going back for more
What's it to you if I don't go?
I'd rather chill and watch the shadows grow
One at a time
Feel that burst, isn't it something?
Reminds you of who you've once been
Now you're in weekly counseling
Trying to hurtle mountains
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3. |
Therapy
03:58
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Buckled in for another guilty trip
It's hard to unpack this luggage
I just let my baggage go unclaimed
In hopes I return back home the same
When will I learn?
When will I?
Will I?
When was the last time I didn't feel trapped in a vacuum?
Or when my lungs as I fall asleep won't feel like they'll collapse soon?
When will I finally seek the help I need?
Just cuz there's no blood doesn't mean I'm not bleeding
When will I learn?
When will I?
Will I?
When did I start to think about death?
And all of life's pleasantries have me feeling disinterested?
The closest I feel to happiness is a poorly constructed internet joke
When will I learn or do I already know?
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4. |
Apricots & Onions
02:27
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I've never seen you so lost in a place where you belong
Though you know where you are, it ain't where you want to be
Though you know where to go, it's hard to pick up & just leave
I've never seen you so down, said you need space - or so it sounds
Though you need me around, love you as much as I function
& you love the way I smell of apricots & onions
Love you as much as I function, oh yes I do
I've never seen you so sure that they don't appreciate what you're worth
Though it seemed to be gold, it was simply colored foil
& you know you must go & sow yourself some unturned soil
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5. |
Just Relax, Dude!
01:36
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Smoke weed, I love to smoke weed
It helps me, it's not helping
I thought I'd relax if I took a load off of my back
Instead, there's tightness in my throat and I can't stressing about life
Hunched over the kitchen sink
I feel vomit
But there's nothing in my stomach other than these knots
I thought I'd relax if I took a load off of my back
Instead, there's tightness in my throat and I can't stressing about life
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6. |
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I'm so exhausted, drained
I'm going to collapse, pain
Please, I'm not going to ask
Need to work to eat but I don't have an appetite and I'm gonna pass out
How can you tell if it's working if you've never known otherwise?
See through these smiles I've been forcing, wish these crows feet could help me take flight
Do you have a light for me now?
I don't even smoke, I don't even
I miss the feeling of closeness with any of my friends
Heat exhaustion from friction
Conflicting thoughts rubbing in my mind
I feel pathways that were once strong
Tear & pop & leave me feeling fried
Am I going to shy?
Or is it once again in my mind?
Just another bus ride past the American Pride
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7. |
Dammit, Comma, Dammit
01:18
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Dammit, comma, dammit
Dammit, dammit
I forgot, I forgot to water the plants
Dammit, comma, dammit
Dammit, dammit
I forgot, I forgot to shower again
Am I different from the plants?
How come you told me to leave the door unlocked for you?
Like I was planning on to leave
I'm rubber, you are glue. It's my bite but will you chew
This sourdough for me?
I'm tied up, like my shoes. Eating treats to change my mood
For dinner is candy
What the hell, should I do? Smoke a bowl or take a poop?
We lock eyes and then decide on both
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8. |
Boulevard
03:43
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I hope this isn't awkward, I just wanted to know if you needed help
I'm trying hard to talk more, like nails on a chalkboard
My words - they sound to me
I left the boulevard
I found a half dollar in the crawlspace covered in soot
I used to steal change from the jar in your bedroom to buy comicbooks
I'm sorry
You don't have to worry, I always make the rent
For the first time
You don't have to worry, there's no judgement
For the first time, I apologize
You don't have to lie
I left the boulevard
I'm so grateful you did too
You don't have to worry, I always make the rent
For the first time
You don't have to worry, there's no judgement
For the first time, I apologize
You don't have to lie
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9. |
Chaos Complex
03:52
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Would you change if you could?
If what I knew then could save me tomorrow
Which memories would I have to carve out?
To change who I am is to change where I've been
I'd turn this car around if I was who's driving
I don't think I wanna be anyone else other than myself
I don't think I wanna be anyone else I don't wanna be
I'm still tryin to even find the lines
To color inside shades of black & white
All accomplishments & accolades I've earned
Never fill the void, like a nest without birds
Come out, come out from wherever you are
My best friend's a barf bag I keep in my car
I'd stick to my guns but they're already shot
If I could do something, well I just might not
How come I don't feel good when I'm thriving?
I think it might be time to stop trying
But I keep trying
If what I knew then could change my mind
I'd do it all again and do it a thousand times
I'm proud of who I am & the friends all around me
I'm grateful I can say I finished therapy
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10. |
Sad Closer
04:06
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Everyone is gonna die
Except for me, I'm gonna live an uncommonly long life
Everyone I ever love, I'll have to tell them all goodbye
And every night I'll wonder the fuck couldn't I also die?
When I awake from this bad dream, I'll wish I was back asleep - away from life
When your nightmares are still easier than real life
And you're well aware there's not an ounce left in you for the fight
I don't really wanna try, to say so would be a lie
But everyday that passes by makes me feel less and less alive
I don't wanna be a burden
But I'm being such a burden
Everyone is gonna text or call when they hear song
Thanks, I love you all
But I won't have to reply or acknowledge that you tried
And I promise you I never once thought to leave this ride
Because I'm fine, I can say I'm fine
Cross my heart and hope to die, I swear I'm fucking fine
Everyone is well aware I'm not that good at lying
I did everything, I did everything
I did everything right today
When your nightmares are still easier than real life
And you're well aware there's not an ounce left in you for the fight
I don't really wanna try, to say so would be a lie
But everyday that passes by makes me feel less and less alive
I did everything, I did everything right
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Jimmy Lo Fi Cleveland, Ohio
Solo project of Jimmy Wilkens, guitarist for The Sonder Bombs
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